Cookies yum !

yes yes yes these definitely are by me

it was friday yesterday and the fridge was out of space

we don't have space for these cookie dough so i spent some time on it

my plate is quite full lately though

surprised?

I know i might look a lil xiu jeh

*hate getting wet hate the sun hate sweating etc.*

but erhem i do do some auntie stuff too sometimes;)

i wonder why didnt i capture some photos while i was working on these

didn't think of it

it has been way long time ago having the habit of putting everything to enrich my blog

not certainly a good thing

actually i do enjoy sharing my every single details to everyone i love

not that some random guy will come visit my highly personalized(boring in other word) blog

i don't write like scholars

and no i don't have some photos of sexy girls on my page

so you guys visiting

must be those who wanna know more bout me and love me much much right?

haha i love you too :)))

muacks muacks

back to my quite-fulled-plate

:(

allow me to let out a big big sigh

HAIH~

i'm now working on my philosophy essay due monday

my brain doesn't seems to be working so i think it might be a great idea to take a break and update a lil about me

believe me philosophy sure is crap like you would imagine but it's definitely not as easy as you would think

it's very challenging to me at least

not that i can simply crap or write things that seemed convincing and make sense and score

i did the 3 hours test yesterday night i seriously feel like crying so much

linh helped me out with some questions but she cant get anything:/ (it's ok dear no worries:)

cwlp and jimui read the articles that i have to write an essay about and they don't have a clue about that too :'(

a round applause for me that i did finish the test with a 500+ essay!!

not sure if im going to pass anot though

how depressing it was when i was taking the test

was so angry of myself and feel like screaming out loud crying

and now this religious philosophy thing is driving me to the border of sickness

looking into my calender im having test each week till the finals

before i can go back to my sweet home i will have to endure some tough time

another topic

i feel sorry for my mum

honestly i now how hard it is for her

it has been hard for both of us

problems come we face it we fight it we gain energy and experience

i know how things work

sometimes im just still to naive

i can handle things on my own

i control my temper

i do what i should accomplish

i seem to be so mature and understanding to people out there

*dont laugh yes they do think so..ask some random aunties of mine and you'll know!*

but whenever im with my mum i act like a fool

i talk without brains

i didnt mean to hurt but i have to admit this im wreaking my anger and sadness that i experience from else where to her

calling this situation as you will only express your true self in front of the person you love most and trust worthy is very irresponsible

im sorry

Communication is the key

i learnt this trading some painful scars in my heart while dealing with my relationships in past experience

but it's real hard when it's my mum

i cant even apologize

and she's always so considerable and said nothing smiling but i can see the pain behind

my mum taught me this when i was a kid

whenever i did something wrongly

she always ask me how could i make things better

(she expect me to say sorry of course..every mums always has issue on asking their kids to have the habit of saying sorry don't you think so?)

so im gonna try to make things better

i should be truly mature enough to truly control my emotions and temperament

about relationships

hahahahaha

my love life is getting very complicated with a weird guy around

not trying to be mean but yes i do laugh at some texts and that will become the entertainment of mine

i dont even have enough time for my own boyfriend!

he doesn't seem to have enough time too and i'll have to say that's eventually a major contradiction between both of us

but i think every long distance relationships face the same issue

different time zone with different social circle

we get angry sometimes

we feel exhausted sometimes

we feel like we had did so much out of we can but they didn't seemed to satisfy each other sometimes

we act like barbarians sometimes

thorny thorns built upon grievence and that hurts both of us sometimes

leaving undeniable pain and scars

but our hands held still whatever happens

might seems absurd to you but i have faith

i mean

we have faith :)

erhem but im not saying i enjoy fighting arrr

you're not russian and im not american stuff like having cold war make no sense

very heart broken when you'll have to go sleep with tears all over your pillow

or simply looking at the phone every five minutes just wondering what are you up to why didnt you call to ask or explain :(

and always doing the debate inside whether i should end the fight first vice versa

when it comes to quarrel between couple it's not always about right or wrong

it's more to emotions most of the time

and if you really wanna think deep and figure out what's the problem and who's fault it is

you'll always realize both of them are partly right at the same time partly wrong

when this happens here's the voices inside my mind....

要守着自尊就会留下遗憾

唉那就算了吧我不要遗憾先讲话好了

自尊他妈的很重要可是你更重要啊

不能啦做么要把自己变到酱渺小啊

我可是被很多人捧在手心上疼的叻

酱做对得起我的爸妈么

自己爸妈都不愿意低头了

可是僵在那里我很难过

我做么要为了不能吃的自尊让自己不开心

而且你很难过我也是很不舍得

不能啦好像很生气我了我不敢

而且你也有错

是啦可是我讲话口气也是不好我也是有错嘛

唉很烦我很不开心:(

these debates won't come to a conclusion or any substantial plan and only thing they did is to mess up my mind

eventually putting myself into a miserable situation

*once i got a ticket running red lights when my mind was so occupied i had no idea what am doing it costs me $75!! so fucked up!!! (excuse my verbal language)*

so...i pray from the bottom of my heart

no more fights

happiness everyday

loving and caring everyday

genuinely :)

*nahhh only if life is so easy--i know my jimui will say this :X*

(to my dear lil hooi hooi: 宁教人打仔莫教人分妻 懂不懂啊你==)

another very lovely topic

Im going to a very beautiful place tomorrow!

it's a tradition of the Texans

they go there to take photos of family

the place is real beautiful with wild flowers blooming and people relax and picnic there

really hope i got to go

only if i can finish my work(not optimistic at all from the progress:/)

and i had to go a music concert at 4 noon so i dont know if i can make it

stupid music recital like im majoring in music

HELLLLO im majoring in health science!! :S *sheng qi*

if i can make it im gonna share photos in my blog :))

a lil out of topic:

i have been staying in houston for almost a year

im quite certain that i love city life more

like the song 廿四味by Janice 卫兰

这个我为午夜以后制造

the girl of autumn

at the same time made for the after midnight

secondary personalities? haha:P

i miss dancing drinking having fun!

gotta go back to work after dinner! :)

xoxo

1955...25 March

0855...25 March